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hey lush, have fun, it's the weekend.   
11:34pm 10/09/2004
  well, after day 1, school has been pretty cool. i'm getting to see everyone again, and well, life is excellent.

a little more than a year ago i started this thing because tali had one and i thought it was really cool. i didn't like it too much at first, but soon became insanely addicted. i used it from everything to telling what my day was about, to posting lyrics, to posting pictures, to bitching and whining about every little thing wrong in my life. last year it was nice, really helped me out, but over the summer i began to lose interest and would only really update when pyo was like "fucking update before i rip your balls off with a pitchfork." ok, he never really said that, but that isn't the point. the point is that for the past year, this has been sort of a venting tool, and more or less a part of my life. people have talked about it, made fun of it, but i always found it ironic because if it was so stupid, why were they still reading it? anyway, i guess what i'm really trying to say is that it's done. honestly, i just don't feel like i'm still into it. updating is just a pain in the ass now, i have no interest in any of the communities, and limited interest in other people's journals. it was nice to know that so many people enjoyed reading it, kind of odd, but still nice. i just feel like it's something people are supposed to outgrow, and i've outgrown it.

i leave you with this song i've been listening to a lot lately, it's quite amazing. it's called tiger lily, and it's by matchbook romance:

we drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
the time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
its close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
and if i could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go (and never let go)
i'll never let go (i'll never let go)
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"i'll be going through withdrawl of you
for this one night we have spent."
and, i want to speak these words
but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.

why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.
if i had it my way,
i'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and i.

and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.
cause i (cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.
and i (i..), i don't want to speak these words
cause i, i don't want to make things
and i, i don't want to make things any worse

(6 disappeared |hold your breath)

everything has changed, absolutely nothing's changed.   
12:17am 09/09/2004
mood: tired
PremiseBeach624 (8:30:43 PM): yo our spanish teacher is crazy
scat729 (8:30:47 PM): yes.
PremiseBeach624 (8:31:02 PM): she's also a communist
scat729 (8:31:14 PM): nah, she isn't
PremiseBeach624 (8:31:29 PM): i get mad red-vibes from her
scat729 (8:31:36 PM): lol
scat729 (8:31:38 PM): only you man, only you


yesterday was kinda nice, other than the fact that my eyes opened at 7 am and wouldn't close again. i watched sportscenter, chilled out, and basically refused to leave my room until 1030 when it eventually became necessary because i had to pee like a fucking racehorse. i came back in, updated i think, then i really don't know what i did. i think i cleaned my room, or watched a movie, or did something not productive. i eventually took it upon myself to shower and get dressed, my mom came home at 1 from work and made me crab cakes =D. at 2 trace picked me up and we went to school to get our lockers. it took a while, but we're # 1069, heh, yeah, so anyway haha. well, we went down to genovese so we could stock our locker with soda and such, bought some stuff, went back to school to drop it off, then went down to frank's as we've become so accustomed to doing so, got some knots, and sat in the back and ate them. it was nice. trace's mom picked us up, took us to his house. we chilled around for a while, then finally played some bacci ball. we had some fun with that. we lied on his lawn for a while before going back inside. some random shit happened, his neighbor's came to say hi because they just moved in, his dog escapaed and we tried to chase it down, which if you know his dog, is physically impossible. my mom picked me up, i went home, hung around, she made cheese fondue for dinner which kicked ass, and i went into my room. i kinda just hung around a bit, watched tv, something i do entirely too much of nowadays, and went to sleep to the beautiful sound of glassjaw, who over the summer i've taken a stronger liking to than last year.

i woke up at 6 today, i don't know why, but i was awake. i layed in bed till 620, went for my shower, got dressed, and it wasn't even 7. i sat around, made some chocolate milk, and at 710 mom drove me to school because there was like 6 inches of rain on our street and i had student council at 730. i get there at like exactly 730 and i go upstairs, expecting to be rather late, just because everyone else is always early. no one other than z-lev was there. we waited for a while and koh showed up, then lindsay, then brain and robyn, and finally hirsch. there was still no prochaska or burr, so we sat in the hall, ate our bagels, and talked about what we would say to the different grades. we basically concluded that z-lev should do all the talking, which he did. prochaska finally showed up, we were with her for all of 5 minutes when we were dismissed for first period. i got to my first day home room and immediately had to go the auditorium to talk to the freshmen. after we went to the gym to talk to the sophomores, and i got sent back to my room. i hung out there, trying to get in touch with koh because he didn't go to either of the two things we were supposed to speak at. he came to the one for the seniors, but we didn't ahve to speak then ebcause matina was taking too long, and when we went to ours the kids had already been dismissed, oh well. we hung in the gym, dani gave me my ring back so my thumb has stopped twitching, and i introduced myself to the new kid simply because i've never seen anyone look so confused in my life. after like 5 minuts more of that the bell rang and we could go to first. i had gym. my schedule had said "advanced pe skills" but i just thought that's what they call it when you're a junior/senior. i was wrong. my fucking guidance consuelor and/or gym teacher put me in ap gym, what the fuck? i mean, i have a cool class, but who the fuck wants to work hard in gym? especially at 8 in the motherfucking morning, ugh. we got our gym lockers and i was off to math. they held us late at gym so i was late to math. shannon knows me so she harassed me a bit, i sat on the floor. the next kid in got her chair, i complained haha, it's gonna be an interesting class this year. we finished up and i mosied on over american literature. i was talking to dani when ms. kennedy walked in, i flipped out. i was like oh no, she's not our teacher. she isn't, so its' all good. zarkh fell on the wet, waxed floor and had to get stitches, so she left early obviously. we got huckelberry finn, signed in, and left. i asked kennedy if she'd check out my story from last year because i worked on it a bit over the summer, at first response she said "i'd rather drink liquid heroin" and me and dani looked at each other with the most puzzled look ever, then she's like yes, i'll look at it, what a weirdo. i went to the cafeteria and saw verni which made me happy, i love that fucker. i also got to see emily singer, carola, and other assorted people. me and sam freid (sp?) had a really long conversation about random shit which was nice, she's really fucking cool. the bell rang and i had to go to physics. fish seems cool, we get to play with shit tomorrow. kb is in my class, that'll make it worthwhile. lunch was nice, i got to see EVERYONE. i waited for a while with meaghan because andy and amanda were coming to give her food or something for her birthday. i went to the cafeteria and saw merk and sammi g, said hi and what not, and sat down with sarah k, sammy g (because there's actually a difference) and others. i chilled for a while but i always get ancy at lunch and had to go say hi to deniz and jenna. i also had to point out to trace that with the seniors gone, and with the new freshmen, we didn't know like half the cafeteria, that was weird. after lunch i had apush with klaff, he's a crazy cool guy. visit www.mrklaff.com . anyway, so yeah, he showed us a powerpoint from his trip across the us which was pretty funny, and we played some trivia game. he was thoroughly amused that my initals are zz. the last person to be that amused was baker, i loved baker. 6th was spanish. all i can say about it is that it's gonna be fucking hard this year. we don't speak any english in class, only spanish. now zove said that to us last year, and it turned out being very untrue, but i know for a fact that's what ortiz does because my sis and bro had her, and they always bitched about it. of course she mentioned them, and i didn't like it, but oh well. she'll realize soon enough that i'm not them, or even close. the final bell rang, we were released, i got my shit, found kb, rmoe, and matt, and met my mom at monfort. she drove us home. i came home, watched some tv and napped for like 2 hours. when i awoke i ate dinner, did some physics, and watched most of 61* and all of quiz bowl, good movies, really really good movies.

i wanted to be asleep an hour ago, i was so fucking tired today, oh well.


(hold your breath)

okay, i believe you, but my tommy gun don't   
08:54pm 08/09/2004
  I am heaven sent. Don't you dare forget.
I am all you've ever wanted.
What all the other boys all promised.
Sorry I told. I just needed you to know.
I think in decimals and dollars.
I am the cause to all your problems. Shelter from cold.
We're never alone.
Coordinate brain and mouth.
Then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out.
I wish I knew.

I hope this song starts a craze.
The kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
The kind of song that makes people glad to be where
they are with who ever they're there with.
This is war. Every line is about who I don't wanna write about anymore.
I hope you come down with something they can't diagnose,
don't have the cure for.
Holding on to your grudge.

Oh, it's so hard to have someone to love.
And keeping quiet is hard.
Cause you can't keep a secret if it never was a secret to start.
At least pretend you didn't want to get caught.
We're consentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe... in us.

Oh, were so contraversial. We are entirely smooth.
We admit to the truth. We are the best at what we do.
And these are the words you wish you wrote down.
This is the way you wish your voice sounds.
Handsome and smart.

Oh, my tongue's the only muscle in my body that works harder than my heart.
And it's all from watching TV. And from speeding up my breathing.
Wouldn't stop if I could.
Oh, it hurts to be this good.
You're holding on to your grudge.
Oh, it hurts to always have to be honest with the one that you love.
Oh, so let it go. We're consentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe... We're consentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe... in us.

This is the craze only we can bestow.
This is the price you pay for loss of control.
This is the break in the battle.
This is the closest of calls.
This is the reason you're alone.
This is the reason you fall.

We're consentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.
I just wanna believe...
We're consentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now throwing the fight.

I just wanna believe... in us.

(hold your breath)

it got weird.   
10:47am 07/09/2004
mood: tired
fuck. vacation is over. when did that happen?

ok, so the last 3 days have been the 3 absolute strangest days of this vacation.

saturday - i woke up, mom wanted to have a "family day," but the parents got into a fight as usual, so i just ended up doing a few errands with my dad, then cleaning the garage, again, ugh. at some point dani came over, i had to finish helping my dad so she sat outside and read a book. we went inside, chilled for a bit, i ate dinner, and we ventured over to rmoe's where i encountered most of the people i should have been with all day. all i can say it was an insane night, and b12 is the greatest thing known to man.

sunday - i woke up, my sister came in, we ate lunch, went fucking furniture shopping and to pick up my bag which is all fixed now =D. afterwards we went to cold stone to enjoy some good ice cream, and then i was dragged to fucking ikea. holy shit, i hate that place. we eventually made it home. i was supposed to bbq dinner but our tank was empty so i got out of it. instead my mom made it on the stove or in the oven or whatever, then my sister drove me to dani's because she was having people over and we had a nice conversation, i really love her, kinda sucks i never get to see her, or my brother for that matter. anyway, so i got there and people were scattered everywhere, i chilled by the cliff for a bit, then for some reason james is like "hey, let's go skinny dipping," so alas, dani had like 12 naked bodies in her pool, haha. after that, some saunaing, and me owning in this quidditch videogame, adam dropped me home. oh yeah, and dani made me a necklace, it's pimp.

monday - i woke up, loaded up the car with all my sister's shit, and we drove her back to the city. we then had to assemble the chair she had bought, it sucked, stupid chairs. we left, went to staples, bought me school supplies, and i came home. i chilled for a bit, made a few cd's, and went to the train station to pick up dani and take her to sarah's. we get there and this dude matt from northport is there, he was nice, kinda eccentric, but nice. we hung around, people came, we watched porn, lol, don't ask. somehow we got into this game of monopoly and dani started taking it really seriously, so me and trace had a lot of fun fucking with her, mad funny. we watched bad santa, which isn't as funny as people made it seem, or maybe just because i was into the monopoly game, who knows. my dad picked me and lazar up at like 1130 because he had said he wanted me to come home early. ugh.

i woke up at 7 this morning.

i'm not posting pictures here because i'm making a gallery of summer vacation on one of my picture accounts somewhere, so don't worry.

christ, this update sucked.

(2 disappeared |hold your breath)

a second chance, means nothing, if nothing's learned from past mistakes-   
02:56am 04/09/2004
mood: confused
well, fuck.

that being said, the past few days have been nothing short of interesting.

tuesday i woke up, drove to the mall to check out some verizon phones, dropped off my bag to get repaired, drove home, helped dad with the garage, then went to trace's and hung with him and tali. we played some bacci ball, watched some tv, then trace had to take that diagnostic sat that i was supposed to take also, but there was no more space or some shit. he said it sucked, whatever. so when he left me and tali went to my house. she looked at it, chilled there for all of 5 minutes, then went to carvel, got milkshakes, hit up the docks, chilled there for a bit, then went to mainstreet to wait for her parents. we ran into the cohen family minus trace, which was interesting considering we had seen them like 2 hours ago. tali's parents picked her up, some cop was a cock and yelled at them, they drove me home which was mighty helpful so i didn't ahve to walk 3 miles back home, or whatever it is. i ate dinner, made plans, and went to hillary's with bergman. we chilled there for a bit, got bonsai, picked up sarah, went to blockbuster and rented boogie nights, and went to my hosue to watch it. it's like a softcore ghetto porn movie, i don't really get it. we didnt' come close to finishing it because sarah wanted to watch the daily show special on the rnc. we watched it, everyone left, i cleaned up and crashed.

wednesday i woke up late and then had to help dad out in the garage. after doing insane amounts of cleaning i was finally free and went to pyo's. maggie and emily were already there, and the 4 of us went to greenfield in queens. it wasn't as good as usual, but still pretty fucking good. it was actually quite fun also. afterwards we went back to port, dropped em and magz off, got intolerable cruelty and starsky and hutch from blockbuster, picked them up again, dropped maggie home, and went to pyo's to watch a movie. intolerable cruelty was a suprisingly funny movie, props to pyo. i went home, watched starsky and hutch, and crashed. i feel like more happened between cleaning the garage and going to dinner, but oh fucking well.

thursday i woke up and helped clean the garage, yet again. eventually i was free and me and trace went to school to attempt to get a locker, change my address with school, and get my schedule. the first didn't work out, but the latter two did. i'll post my schedule at the bottom of the entry. afterwards we walked down to frank's to meet up with sam and zoe. after we were done eating they showed up haha, typical girls, and then we went to gino's so zoe could get food. we ended up walking down to the landmark and playing in the park for a while, it was rather chill. zoe and sam had to go to zoe's so zoe could say goodbye to one of her step brother's because she's leaving for boarding school next week and it was her last chance to see him or some shit, so they bounced, and me and trace walked home. trace went home, i watched tv for a while, ate dinner with mom, and jenna, maggie f, and trace ended up coming over here. we brought some boxes to robbie's, cleaned up his basement, and well, it wasn' tthat entertaining. spencer said some classic lines which was good enough to make everyone laugh, always an entertaining fucker. me and trace finally bounced, got ice cream, went back to my house, he got picked up. like 15 minutes later my dad came home with our new phones. hello verizon. i now get text messages. i now get service in my house. my phone number has not changed.

today was also rather interesting. i woke up late because my parents had gone to connecticut so i didn't ahve to clean the fucking garage again, ugh. i ran to blockbuster to rent the two kill bill's for my dad, tehn trace picked me up to take us to the train station. we went to the city with the intention of meeting madison later, it didn't work out. we got in, walked around for a while, couldn't find the n so just took a cab to union square. went to st. mark's, bought necklace's, got coldstone, did other random shit, and went home, it was a nice change from hanging around town. we came home, his mom dropped me off, he went home. i hung aorund for a bit, started watching kill bill vol. 1 with my dad, and merk came over. we had the full intention of seeing garden state, but he decided against it because the girls bailed. we picked up trace, went to dani's, harassed her and her family for a bit, and went home.

fucking vacation is almost over.

tomorrow will be absolutely fucking amazing.

scheduleCollapse )

anyone dig the new layout?

(3 disappeared |hold your breath)

02:00am 01/09/2004
  Viper Reet (12:51:42 AM): im taking a class on morality and ethics this semester
Viper Reet (12:51:44 AM): actually two
Viper Reet (12:51:49 AM): and i can tell you this right now
Viper Reet (12:51:52 AM): they don't exist

(hold your breath)

i am all you've ever wanted, what the other boys all promised...   
02:48am 31/08/2004
  we're so c-c-c-controversial.

anyway, the past two days have been utterly chill, and i say that simply as code for nothing has happened. yesterday i woke up, talked to lenny, and had the full intention of bbqing, but he's a lazy cock and didn't wanna have to walk here in the "heat," so after harassing him a while i gave up and made trace pick me up. we played some chess, watched tv, and swam. after a while george came over. right before that though, we ordered excessive amounts of domino's, and by that, i mean 5 pie's, 2 thin crust, 3 regular, and of course, the cinnastix. i haven't had domino's all summer, it really hit the spot. anyway, so we ate, soon enough we were outside playing bacci ball, don't ask. merk joined, then dani, soon followed by yedid and bergman. we played some more bacci then went back in teh pool, hot tubbed, and mosied on downstairs to watch the rest of the vma's. it was pretty lame, toxic didn't win anything,a nd that was by far the hottest video ever, or just britney spears is really fucking hot, either way. anywho, we played some pool, it's crazy how much better i am on trace's table than at the pool hall, fucking shitty tables. we hung around a bit, then me and merk drove dani home, then he drove me home.

minus the bear is fucking awesome.

today i woke up, got into a huge fight with my mom because she's an inconsiderate fuckhead, and cleaned up my room, hardcorely. my room actually looks decent now. tomorrow i think i'll put up all my posters again, i miss them. so i hung around at home for a long ass time, mainly because i wasn't allowed to leave until these 2 boxes of clothes were out of my room, so i got around to it while watching insane amounts of tv, and finally finished. then i bbqed dinner for my parents and my uncle, ate, and went to trace's with bergman. we just hung around, watched anger management, intertwined with pieces of house of 1000 corpses, trace and his brother are pussies.

tomorrow i have to take a 4 hour fucking sat diagnostic from 6-10 pm, ghetto.

sam calem fucking kicks ass.

happy birthday theo (belated (29th)

happy birthday rmoe

i really need to start reading my friend's page again.

(1 disappeared |hold your breath)

you only think about yourself.   
02:45am 29/08/2004
mood: too tired to sleep
have you ever just suddenly been in an amazing mood, and felt like everything was perfect, even though it was 130, you were watching a really fucking stupid movie, and there was a shattered glass snapple bottle on the floor? i think i just wnet from the best mood i've been in all summer to one of the most confused moods i've been in. it seems like this summer has just been a haze. a really quick, short, sweet haze. i'm trying to figure out what exactly i did that made the time pass by, because in retrospect, it really seems like all i did was lie around and sleep excessive amounts.

i'm listening to wonderwall for the first time in so motherfucking long.

fuckin' a.

for one moment, just one, i wish everything was clear. i wish every decision was obvious, i wish that everything worked out. i wish there were no unanswerable questions, no choices to be made, but just obvious pathes to be taken.

when does the point come when you put yourself before your friends?

well, time for the extremely short rundown.

yesterday - pyo picked me up, we picked up dani, got harbor deli, went back to dani's, pyo bounced, i jumped in dani's pool, she refused to come in, so me and her little like 7 year old brother chilled while she read and we blasted incubus, who i've become rather fond of. we played uno for a while, she started making me a necklace, then i left becuase she had to go to dinner with her family, shabat friday. i went home, changed because i was drenched, picked up theo, went to hickory's which was closed, dropped by bhagu and he picked up some american spirits, we tlaked while he smoked one, got some sushi, ran intro andrew dickens (brother's good friend), met trace at dd, went to the docks, ran into sammi g, meaghan, andy, etc, talked for a few, sat at the docks for am inute, trace lost his phone, we got it back,w ent to stop and shop, theo left, trace and i went to my houes. wow, that sucked, oh fucking well, deal with it. it was a very unfulfilling evening other than the fact i got to see theo for like the first time since the first week of summer.

today - woke up, went to sarah's to get all my shit back, went to work for the last time, didn't do much, harassed ashely a lot at kay bee, worked inside for a while, went back to carts, said the goodbyes, i'm gonna miss the people, the job, no, but the people, quite so. i came home, lenny came over, jon did us a favor, darren came by, flipped out, but we fixed him up. they left, i went for a shower, trace came over, merk came over, my parents came home, dani came over, we went to bk, ate, blockbuster, got a night at the roxbury, came to my house, watched the movie, played risk, ate excessive amounts of chocolate, good night, i missed merk.

scat729 (1:41:03 AM): hey
DaNiSwEeTz2 (1:41:08 AM): zubin is sexy
DaNiSwEeTz2 (1:41:10 AM): zubin is hott
scat729 (1:41:18 AM): is this gonna rhyme?
DaNiSwEeTz2 (1:41:18 AM): zubin turns me on like a hot top pot

posted by her request because she is quite the excellent poet

it is no better to be safe than sorry

stellarCollapse )

(1 disappeared |hold your breath)

but there doesn't seem to be anyone around.   
03:14am 27/08/2004
mood: apathetic
fuckin' a.

and you know what? i think i'll fucking say it again, fuckin' a.

well, i just got off the phone with a truly marvelous girl, her cell died though, i guess that's what i get though haha, whatever. hopefully i'll be able to chill with her saturday, it seems though, as of now, to be nothing more than wishful thinking.

the week, thus far, has been more than eventful.

sunday. to be honest, i have no fucking clue what i did sunday, and it's pissing me off. i know the bbq at sarah's didn't work out, oh shit, ok, i got it now. i think it went that sarah came over, and we were chilling for a while, then pyo finally got here, as did jen, and we picked up trace. sarah and me played with these stupid fake blood tablets and convinced everyone else we were actually bleeding, it was rather amusing. we went to barnes and noble to look for a calendar for jen, it was unsuccessful. afterwards we ventured to bk, but i didn't want that, so i got some chinese from like 2 stores over. we ate, decided to go back to trace's, but when we did he remembered he had plans with his dad to see avp, so he bailed, the 4 of us went back to sarah's and hot tubbed for a long ass time. jen left to drop pyo and then came back, we got out, watched the end of jackass the movie, and went home.

"you ruined my make up, you fucker"

monday. monday i had to wake up early to clean up the den because my mom was having people over. it was also wolff's last day in port so i had to drop by. i went there, hung for a bit, and then it really hit me that it was leaving and i got pretty upset. i mean it's like, idk, i guess it's that there's always one face you look for in the halls, someone that makes you feel like you're at home anywhere, and that was alex, alex was an ill motherfucking guy, despite all the shit he went through this year, he kept it together, and i have nothing short of absolute respect for him. anyway, i had to leave rather quickly as he was expecting a call from his college. dad let me drive home, well, he had let me drive there. on the way home i tried to parallel park in this curvy spot and i hit a tree, oh well. i went to work, came home, then went to sarah's and watched scary movie 3. our original plan was to watch grease, but it was out, who the fuck rents grease? whatever, after i went home and crashed.

tuesday. tuesday was jen's last day here. i had work 2-6, but of course before that i had to coordinate her goodbye bbq with trace. we decided to have it at 7. it ended up being me, trace, jen, sarah, chris, his little brother, his friend, this girl amanda, lenny, darren, and george, oh yeah, and max. it was cool because i got to drive lenny/darren/george there. anyway, we played some bachi ball, hot tubbed, swam, bbqed, and did an assortment of other random activites. it was really sad when we realized it was her last night in port. we had a large pillow fight, and well, that was that. jen dropped us off for like the last time, and it was nice.

wednesday. wednesday i woke up early to say bye to jen. i stayed at her house for like an hour while her dad packed the car. nikki d came over to say bye to her, i can't believe the seniors are gone, it's quite fucking depressing. after saying bye to her i realized what time it was and literally sprinted home because i knew robyn was gonna be picking me up soon. we had a student council thing at school, mad ghetto. we got there, made a welcome back sign, ordered mad food, and picked the give away for the pep rally. i had work after, and when i got home hillary/emily gordon/trace came over and we rented the perfect score and i made emily buy me ice cream. it was a fucking terrible movie, that's all i can say.

"you don't know d's mom"

thursday. today actually, or whatever the fuck you consider to be today. well, today trace called my house at 1230, i made the mistake of telling my mom i was awake enough to answer. 5 minutes later, literally, the fucker was at my door. he came in, we chilled, watched some tv, talked and whatever, my mom and great aunt went shopping, i showered. he wouldn't come with me to pick up my paycheck, so iw ent alone, saw the weiss's, bought some dots, and finally got to kk. i returned the cart unlocker tha ti took home by accident last night, they were very happy i had it because they had been freaking out over it. i got paid, said hi to a few people, and bounced. on the way home i bought flying saucers. i eat too much junk food. i came home, trace was still watching tv, i called sarah and said we were ready. her mom eventually picked us up and took us to the mall. after eating, singing some beatles, and basically embarassing the fuck outta sarah and trace, i bought my second cousins some t-shirts and sarah bought some pants. we met my mom outside galyan's after a pacsun "incident" and were on our way to caren's house in syosset. we get there, meet her mom, chill out for a bit, then go to oyster bay beach. it was like a park, it was nice, people actually hang there. i met some cool oyster bay kids, dove into the sound, which is way less grimey there, did some other stupid shit, met caren's friends, it was nice. this fucking asshole cop kick us out for no reason, so the 4 of us leave and go get food. we come back, meet up with the same kids, but there's like this american gladiator thing like a castle bounce but with those big sticks. i battle trace. i win the first, he wins the next two, bastard. it was really cool that they have things that people actually go to haha, anyway, so this band was performing, and they were kinda ghetto, but whatever, like i said, i sang part of come as you are, but they stopped playing because they couldn't figure it out, fuckers. whatever. nice kids though. ummmmmmmmm, i think that was about it, we climbed a lifeguard thing, chilled up there for a while, then caren's mom picked us up, we went back to her house, watched part of moulin rouge, and then trace's mom took us home. i left pretty much everything besides my wallet inside sarah's purse. there are some ill pictures that will be posted eventually, that's it though.

saturday is my last day of work.

fuckin' a.

(hold your breath)

wouldn't it be nice?   
02:18pm 22/08/2004
  I have a vision of many things to come
a way to erase mistakes that have previously been done
and a time where man meets man without a glare but with a smile
stop brooding on old things taste new ones for awhile
until we try how will we know?
How will we know until we try?
So let's say we give it a go
to find the world that we're looking for
say find the children grow to be what they wanna be
point them in the right direction to build their own reality
lies and deception they can't tell what is real
walk with your feelings then "shout" how you feel
dig my utopia flavor euphoria all hands raised
"hallelujah" sing a little Gloria caise
what is good what is right who the fuck decides?
The places I see are through an individuals eyes


(2 disappeared |hold your breath)

is it too late for a kiss goodnight?   
01:30am 22/08/2004

-now stop bitching for a minute

well, today work sucked. it went by really fucking slowly, but houda, this really really cool lady who left after like 2 weeks of me being there came to visit and we chilled for a while. i was really happy to see her. she took my phone number so she can come hang out with me. she just moved to brooklyn with her son. anyway, yeah, so i had to stay at work an hour later than i was supposed to because the other dude was late. it fucking poured like crazy and i got drenched, and ugh, work sucks. i spent a lot of time in kb with collett though, that was alright. i bought some meat and went home, people came over, we had an unsuccessful bbq and daquiri session, the adding of alcohol just confused me, whatever. it didn't work, and well, tonight was kinda shitty, well not shitty, disappointing, that's the right word.

i'm sick of stupid drama.

fucking people should learn the word "relax" and do it.

fucking shit man, i'm so motherfucking bored.

anyone up for something entertaining tomorrow night?

(1 disappeared |hold your breath)

"that's a beautiful name, penelope" - club dread   
12:06pm 21/08/2004
  well, it's been like a week since the big day, and life hasn't been as exciting as it was prior, but oh well.

so yeah on monday, i ended up at haven with pyo, dani, and melody (dani's sister). i spent the meal hitting on melody, not because i'm interested in her, but because it's hardcorely entertaining. we had a rather shitty meal, however i did get to talk to krista, pyo's illinois chic, she didn't get that my name was zubin. it was rather frustrating. anyway, so i went home, went to work, then came home and showered and all that jazz, then went to dani's. i got there and immediately had to go harass melody, so i went into her room and took one of her sweatshirts, way i might add, i looked pretty spiffy in, anyhow, so i dragged her upstairs to watch the rules of attraction with us, which as darren can testify, is one really fucked up movie, good, but really fucked up. oh yeah, and werle was there too, an di think he was scared about my relationship with the members of dani's family, anyway, so we watched the movie, it was good, then i went home.

on tuesday i had work at fucking two, so i got up, showered, and worked, it sucked, work sucks. i came home, and mom had said not to go out because it was my aunt's last night, so i stayed in, and did nothing for a long ass time. then finally at 10 they came home, but they just ate and went to sleep, so i'm like fuckin' a, i just sat at home all night, fuck you guys. bastards.

wednesday was fun simply because i called in sick. i didn't do much other than sleep, but eventually emily gordon came over. she hadn't eaten so we walked to la stella, which is not that good of a pizza place, and she got some food. afterwards we went to stop and shop to buy cookie dough so we could make cookies. we walked back to my house, made some cookies, and hillary and sarah c came over. we chilled for a bit, then started watching club dread which they eventually made me turn off. at some point during the movie ritesh came over to say goodbye. i gave him his present and we chilled out for a bit in my room. he stayed up there and i wandered from my den to my room several times until he left, he ewasn't down for the movie. so he finally left, the girls made me watch newlyweds. apparently britney spears is gonna be on the next season, that would be entertainment. the girls eventually left and all was well.

thursday i went t-shirt shopping, then hung around at the broadway mall, which i've concluded, is far inferior to roosevelt field in every possible way, while my mom and great aunt went to the annex. we eventually got home and i had to go to work. work finished, i went to dani's, her brother tried to go fishing, but broke the line on the first cast, we went inside, watched a knight's tale, ritesh came by to say his final goodbye for a whole 5 minutes, it was sad, he's gone, it's depressing, finished the movie, called a cab, went home.

yesterday was long. at like 1230 trace came over because he was biking aorund with his brother and he had just gotten back from china the previous night. we ate some cookies with his bro, then his bro left and we went to bk. we came back to my house, pyo dropped by while he was illegaly driving, then we watched club dread. at like 430 he went home so he could shower and ic ould shower and clean my room. we met back up around 6 when jen picked us up to go t-shirt shopping. trace got some ill shirts, we bought moe his b-day presents, then we ate. we came back to town and went to jenna's because it was kaitlin's last night. i didn't know her too well, but she was fun as hell to chill with. after many games of connect four, some relaly bad music, and a long ass convo with jenna's mom, we left and picked up tori. we went to 7-11 where we ran into dan reitman and his assorted roslyn friends, they were cool. i got a big cherry slurpee and that made my night. we dropped trace and tori off, then me and jen just chilled for a while before she dropped me home.

i woke up at fuckign 11 today because i haev work at 1, horseshit. all i've done is eat, talk to people, and write in this thing, the point was to get ready early, fuck it. tonight i guess i'll have a few people over, and tomorrow i'm bbqing at sarah's, so it should be nice.

hope you all enjoy the last 3 weeks of summer.

(2 disappeared |hold your breath)

who the fuck wants to live forever?   
02:15pm 16/08/2004
  DaNiSwEeTz2 (2:05:07 PM): 2 days of zubi in a row- can life get any better?

what can i say?

woke up, went to robbie's, glassjaw-ed it up, cleaned, went home, ate oreos, watched movies.

morningstar is coming tonight, rock on.


i have fucking work from 5-9, then God knows what man. i think i'm gonna call in sick and see madison and grace on wednesday, that'd be ill.

now i have to fucking to lunch with dani and james because they don't LEAVE ME ALONE! ahhhhh, gotta shower, and stop being stupid, later kids

(1 disappeared |hold your breath)

i am kumar.   
02:05am 16/08/2004
  it's funny how i don't remember the last two entries. at all.

anywho, yes, friday night was quite amazing. but of course it is never that easy. you have to hear about the day before it first, duh.

so friday i woke up, helped mom do stuff, can't quite remember what, then agreed to get lunch with ritesh. he came over, we moved some shit around, then left when his friend chris called. he said he'd meet us at reet's house, so there we went. we waited for a while, he finally showed up. chris was quite a tight dude, mad nice. we went to green cactus and had some excellent burrito's which i am conivnced were laced with cocaine because afterwards i'd never felt so high then so down in my life. yeah, so anyway, from there we went to microcenter/best buy to buy a mouse/mp3 player. we walked around, whatever, eventually i was dropped off at home. i watched some tv with my dad, then jenna, carrie, maggie, and kaitlin came over. we hung around for a while, then met george at king kullen, then went to robbie's. good times.

saturday i woke up in severe amounts of pain. i finally got of bed, helped mom with more shit, then went to work. i somehow managed to work and get threatening phone calls from robbie all at the same time. he was frustrated that the keg might not come thorugh, i then reminded him that i've never let him down before, because of course, zubin is no mortal.

break: Wipeout362 (1:31:37 AM): im going to strip clubs this weekend

anyway, so i finally got off work, after rain, yelling at my manager, and assorted other occurences, oh, and a nice visit from jen, i went home, and had to quickly shower. my sis came home, we helped a little, then we went to pick my brother up from the train station. i made them let me drive home, they were impressed, muahahaha. we chilled, random indian people came, the house was blessed, it was a beautiful thing. we ate, i talked to assorted old people, and suavely snuck out and went to the kegger, which i had managed to arrange all during the party my parents were having. at like 5 i had snuck to port beer with jon to meet lenny, then went home, damn, my suaveness amazes even me sometimes. anyway, so i went home, the dude did his blessing stuff. i kept wondering why everyone in my family's name was getting said except my dad's, then i realized since he has a muslim name, they couldn't say it in the zorastrian ceremony, so my mom had given the preist dude a fake name, weird. so we ate, i bounced, got to moe's, was greeted quite nicely, and within the next 1 hour did 4 30 second keg stands, fit 3 beers in a funnel, and funneled it, played a game of beer pong, and did other assorted drinking activities. the word of the evening became sloshed. it was quite sickening how we were able to kill a keg in a little over 2 hours, but i guess that's just how shit is. preston had to go on another beer run, and me and george helped clean a little, then bounced. we were waiting for his brother and i had to piss, so i pissed on this pathfinder, id on't know why, i just had an urge. his brother picked us up, drove me home, i went home, talked a little, ate some flan, crashed. good stuff.

today i woke up late, was in a really good mood. i made plans with sarah, emily, and ritesh to see Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, and i capitalize the letters because any movie that genius desreves it, holy fuck. anyway, so sarah came over, we hung for a bit, ritesh picked us up, we picked up emily, and were on our merry way to the broadway mall. the movie kicked fucking ass. i've never left a movie theatre so happy, in fact, i don't think i've ever been so happy. life has been so good this vacation, it's insane. i haven't been pissed, upset, distraught, or any of that shit to any point that would ruin a good mood, life is good. we left, checked out steve and barry's who's having an intense sale, then went to wendy's. i miss sam. i say that simply because me and sam raided wendy's 24/7. reet took emily home, dropped me and sarah off, then went home himself. dani called and said she would come over, so me and sarah went to carvel, rented a movie, and went back to my house. we hung around till dani showed up,s tarted watching beautiful girls but they weren't into it. jen came, we turned on mrs. doubtfire, ill movie. after we went back to carvel, came back, ordered empire records, and all was merry. tonight was one of those nights that just reminds you how good it is to chill, have good friends, and how much fun you're gonna have int his fucking house. i love sarah, dani, and jen. anyway, here i am now. i wanna go buy some clothing tomorrow, i wanna see grace and madison this week, i wanna see pyo sometime soon, and i don't want summer to end.

ritesh leaves thursday.
jen leaves next wednesday.

i gotta get updated on the rest.

gonna crash, gotta go to robbie's tomorrow morning and help clean, pooh.

ps. the conceitedness is a JOKE

pps. RIP sam's puppy who died of unknown causes on friday the thirteenth

picturesCollapse )

(hold your breath)

11:41am 14/08/2004
  last night was great.

aftershave burns.

work sucks.

(3 disappeared |hold your breath)

love song.   
12:59am 14/08/2004
  Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

the cure

heard it for like the billionth time tonight, yet it's never touched me like it has now.

(3 disappeared |hold your breath)

12:55am 13/08/2004
  word up foxes and cats, this is jam master z coming to you live at 1245 from the room of hip hop that never stiz-ops.

well, now that i got that over with, holy fucking shit. the next two days are going ot be the two best days of summer vacation, and i'm completely fucking stoked out of my motherfucking mind.

alright, well, today i went driving with my dad. he had to run errands for my mom, so i chauffered him around. we went to queens and back, and weaved to all these random places, so i got two good hours of driving in. i sped like fucking crazy, first time i've hit 60 and it felt fucking good. eventually i got home, showered, and went to work. i cashier trained today, i believe i'm gonna be a permanent cashier, which would be way cooler than being a leveler/cart guy/stock guy/recycling guy/trash guy. after work i came home, tried to convince bergman's mom to let him come to belgium with me, but she won, she won. i ate dinner, and hung around for a bit. i then remembered i told robbie i'd call him, so i did, i went over, he showed me this killer pong table that he got cut today. it's like a 4x8 of wood, and it's silky fucking smooth, amazing. it's all set up on stools so it's the perfect height and perfect length, wow. so me/darren/lenny/robbie/parat/spencer/tommy chilled for a bit and discussed the plans of the next two days. i'd share, but as of now, it's kinda on the down low, you know how that shit goes. tommy got picked up, then lenny, darren, and spencer did, so me, robbie, and parat just listened to parat play guitar for a while. we talked and what not, then cleaned up a bit, then went keg bucket hunting and were quite unsuccessful. we did however find perfect plastic jello shot cups, i'm excited.

after that we split, i went home, and here i am, and they're, well, wherever they are.

i know i had something insightful to say, but i completely forgot it, oh well.

take it easy kids

ps. anyone want to venture to belgium with me for a week?

pps. this marks the first entry i haven't disguised talking about alcohol.

(hold your breath)

it's an aa meeting, airheads anonymous =D   
09:29pm 12/08/2004
  scat729 (9:27:13 PM): what's goin on
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:27:17 PM): nothingu
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:27:53 PM): what did u do tonight
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:27:55 PM): or are u doing lol
scat729 (9:27:58 PM): eh, trying to find someone to go to belgium with
scat729 (9:28:01 PM): i just got back from work
scat729 (9:28:03 PM): gotta change and go out
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:28:10 PM): belgium...
scat729 (9:28:21 PM): yeah
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:28:25 PM): what is that
scat729 (9:28:28 PM): a country.
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:28:35 PM): i was JUST going to ask that
scat729 (9:28:45 PM): wow.


scat729 (9:29:17 PM): haha
scat729 (9:29:21 PM): totally just posted that in my livejournal
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:29:40 PM): NICE
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:29:54 PM): i still dont get it tho
scat729 (9:31:08 PM): my parents said i could go somewhere
scat729 (9:31:16 PM): i wanted to go to belgium because i have people to stay with there
TeNniSbAbE89 9 (9:31:17 PM): i thought it was like a pancake house

(2 disappeared |hold your breath)

bloody wanker.   
11:51am 12/08/2004
  you've got an appointment at 1145 tomorrow so try not to get too fucked up tonight - dr. bCollapse )  

(hold your breath)

she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me.   
04:28pm 04/08/2004
  hollafrnt ixtci (11:27:59 PM): you're god.

finally, he fucking realizes.

ok ok ok, so i haven't updated since wednesday, and i'm sorry (in case anyone cares).

here's a relatively not so short rundown:

thursday - sam's last day, work form 5-9, he drives by to visit a few times, then around 8 comes with a car load of people consisting of him, jen, trace, liana, alyssa, courtney, monica, and ester. they bugged me for a while then went to sam's, then to trace's. i finally got off work, went home, showered, and joined them at trace's, and merk was there, and he cut his hair, and it's not fair, and i'm eating a pear.... anyways, so the girls minus jen left, we chilled in the play room and talked, and then we broke up. sam went to his car, the rest of us went to merk's, we dropped jen home, then merk took me to the lvoe tent, and then home, it was really fucking depressing.

scat729 (11:54:42 PM): i love how we're having an insult match through jenna
scat729 (11:54:46 PM): it's like math class all over again
hollafrnt ixtci (11:55:52 PM): i love it

sarecat21 (3:47:55 PM): I had to make mice smoke for 5 hours today it was BORINNGGG

oh so she says (4:29:16 PM): you dont seem like you are at all... its just like... i couldnt date someone who likes to slaughter kitens... you cant date people who try and slaughter music

friday - can you say absolutely fucking amazing? i had the day off so when i woke up i gave pyo a call. i was gonna meet him for lunch somewhere on main street, but instead we decided to bbq at my house. he came over, we bought meat, made burgers, spiced them up, grilled them, kat/jen/trace came over, made some hot dogs, chilled, jen had to leave, kat left, the rest of us chilled and watched music videos in my den. i hit trace in the head with a tv remote, he had a headache, he left, then the girls left to go "get ready" for later. so me and pyo cleaned up, he showered because he's a dirty korean, and ritesh picked us up with shane and jake. they took us to robbie's, bought us stuff, i walked home to clean up some more,t hen walked back to robbie's. trace met us there, as did the girls, i walked home with jen and julie, crashed, excellent evening, very excellent fucking evening.

saturday - woke up, worked 2-8. trace and caren, plus trace's family came over. i showered, got dressed, and me, trace, and caren went to carvel. we got some ice cream, then jen picked us up with jackie. we had nothing to do so we went to the docks. i got out of the car because my head was throbbing and i needed air. so i walked to the side, got a soda, everyone joined. i startedt alking to the dockmaster, she's a chill lady. we ended up talking to her for like an hour, crazy shit. we drove back to trace's because caren was gettin picked up soon, we chilled there, jen drove jackie then me home. my sister was home for some reason so i chilled with her for a bit, then went to sleep.

sunday/monday - woke up to say bye to my sister, chilled out for a while, did a little driver's ed shit, and procrastinated like motherfucking crazy. i did virtually no work during the day. at around 9 i went to king kullen to buy a newspaper, on my way home i ran into jen/julie/margot. julie basically told me i was screwed for starting so late, and that she'd drop off her binder at around 1230 so i could get some help from it and hand it in for her tomorrow. i got home, ate some dominoe's, and got to work by 1130, when julie ended up dropping off her binder. from then until 630 i worked, made a kickass driver's ed binder becuase the grade actually counts for me, and went to class at 7, it sucked, but oh well. i had driving at 830, and then a make up driving at 10. so 4 1/2 hours of driver's ed afterp ulling an all nighter to do homework, it fucking sucked. i came home, slept, went to work, came home, ate dinner, and slept.

tuesday - got up, worked, ritesh came over for dinner, we ate, i cut my leg, it bled, it sucekd, it wouldn't stop, i gave up, styaed in and watched massive amounts of tv, blew.

wednesday - worked 9-5, came home, met up with pyo, jenna, maggie, and sophie at starbucks with jen. i begged the guy to give me some coffee becasue they were closed, he caved. i guess i'm just so irressistable. anyway, we went to sean allen's house. i totally didn't realize that he was jesse's brother, so when i got there jesse answered the door, and i'm like holy fuck. and ashely was there, it was cute. we hung there, but jenna and her friends had to be home by 11. we dropped them home, went to dd, chilled, droppped james home, then jen dropped me home.

thursday - got home from work, shit seemed dead, no idea what the hell iw as gonna do. i ended up goin to robbie's to chill with him, brett, tori, dani p, dan i, darren, and spencer, it was chill for a while. i left by like 11 and walked around. i went to bk and got a chocolate shake, then started walking home, and i saw the guy changing the big white movie sign in soundview. so i asked if i could do one, and he's like sure, so i did little black book =D. after that i went to king kullen, harassed elena because she fucking rocks, and then went home and slept.

today i've had driver's ed. i did the normal class/drive and then made up a driving with lenny. lenny fucking kicks ass. my dad came home today. first time he's been in this house since we moved, he's been gone for a month, nice to have him home.

james passed his road test, awesome.

i have to see anything goes tonight at school, any one wanna join?

i really gotta update daily, the good shit never gets written this way

pictures will be posted as soon as i find the wire for my digital camera.

sorry, i posted this on wednesday but forgot to make it public, my bad.

(1 disappeared |hold your breath)